Marguerite and I recently invited a bunch of our new neighbors and some other friends to our Christmas carol party. The plan was to go and carol in the neighborhood and walk over to the extended care near our house and bless the residents with song. As it turned out, only 1 neighbor and his son came. We didn't even hear from the others that we had personally invited.
In spite of the lack of neighbours responding, the evening was wonderful; an amazing time of laughter, song, worship and joy. I can't remember a time when the carols have been so meaningful to me as when the group of us were singing of the hope of the Christmas story to those living out lives that, because of the ravages of age, are far from hopeful.
Despite this incredible experience, the next day I began to think about my "inconsiderate neighbors. " I allowed resentment and bitterness to settle in and simmer. "That's just rude" I thought. "The least they could have done was to call and say they weren't coming." " That's the last time I invite them to anything," I finished off with.
While perversely enjoying marinating in my bitterness and self pity, there was a vague sense that perhaps my attitude wasn't quite right. I allowed myself to take that vague thought out and examine it. I had recently learnt that our sins (unrighteousness thoughts and actions) had their basis in not believing something about God - about his glory, his greatness, his grace, his goodness. Remembering this caused me to ponder God's grace - his pursuit of us when we were far from him and in rebellion against him. I thought about the fact that God kept pursuing (despite multiple rejections ) even to the point of sending his son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. In the face of this unceasing gracious pursuit he was still rejected yet never gave up in going after us. In Romans 10 he says "All day long I have held out my hands to a disobedient and contrary people." Nothing says this with more of an exclamation mark than a baby in a manger entering our world on a rescue mission. "The word became flesh and dwelt among us. "
As I prayerfully pondered this in light of my own resentment the words "how do you think I feel?" came to mind. Indeed. How did he carry on putting himself in a place of rejection. How did he feel? The only answer that explains his action is that he, in his essence, is love. He inexplicably loves you and me.
When reflecting on the unparalleled love of the Father I had two thoughts - firstly I had a new appreciation for his grace. What an amazing God we have, so unlike me in my petty bitterness. The rejection he suffered was many levels of magnitude greater (embarrassingly so) than mine - the creator of the universe not only indifferently ignored by his creatures but actively rebelled against and ultimately beaten and killed, yet he kept on loving and pursuing. Secondly it made me think that maybe, in light of this amazing truth, I could give it another go - that maybe I could be more gracious and forgiving and persistent in my reaching out to others. Maybe I would take my cues from my heavenly Father in not giving up after one rejection.
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